"Congratulations. You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into."

I realized that I haven't written in forever but my justification for that is the beginning of my new job. I am started on my birthday, which was almost a month ago! I am settling in and graduation is now over so we can breathe a sigh of relief and start focusing on our actual departments... mine being athletics. I am waiting for my business cards to come in and then I will begin to set up appointments with the head coaches and their staff to talk about our services. I'm very nervous but also super excited. I can't wait for this job to really begin!

The apartment is good, although I do wish I was spending a little more time in it. I have so much going on and I think it might be time to step back a little from all of it. Unfortunately, a lot of what I have planned I can't step back from. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore... but I guess I never really did. All I know is that I can't take it anymore and will be doing something about it as soon as possible. I can't believe that it's only been a month and a half since I m0ved out. It seems like forever but October is right around the corner. My lease is up in October and, while I don't really need to figure this out now, I'm not sure what I'll be doing then.

In the previous post, I stated "It's hard to understand how all of this is going to work but I now know it all will." I'm not really sure I believe that anymore. It has been almost 5 months since the layoff and I don't feel like I've accomplished much of anything. Yes I have found a great job but it hasn't started to take off yet so I'm not sure if that counts. Other aspects count though. I think it might be time for me to cleanse my life of some unhealthy relationships, a process which I have already started. I have to have faith but at times like this it's hard to. I just keep telling myself to focus on work and I hope that mentality kicks in soon. The next few weeks should be able to tell me a lot. Then maybe I can move forward.