In just a few hours I will have my second apartment. I've tried to start packing/ reorganizing what is already packed but it's hard to know where to start. I just moved into the house a few weeks ago and now everything is getting moved again. It's a little crazy but it couldn't have happened any other way. I didn't want to renew my lease at the old apartment, and I'm glad I didn't because I wouldn't have had the ability to pay the past few months rent. I think the hardest part is all of our stuff being mixed in together and realizing that some things aren't mine anymore. I'm really not sure how things will turn out. J and I have been great for the past few weeks, or at least I think we have, but that's probably due to the fact that we both know it's changing, for better or worse. We just aren't ready for this anymore. Now all I need is to hear from UNC that I got the job and I will be set!!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
"We've decided to pursue other candidates whose experience more closely fit our current need."
I think the hardest part of the past 2 months, has been trying to explain to everyone around me what happened. The simplest way to describe it is... I've changed.
12.5 million people in the United States are unemployed. 4.4 million jobs have been lost since January 2008.*
I know I'm not alone. But losing my job affected me in a way that I never thought possible. I actually see the world differently now. I see my future differently which is where most of my issues come from.
After graduating at the end of 2007, I felt a lot of pressure to get into a career, most of that pressure being in my head, telling me that if I didn't land that job by the end of the summer I was a failure, that I would be that much further behind than everyone else, that I'm not good enough. So I was incredibly happy when I landed the job I did, now wondering if I was truly qualified for it or I had just been lucky enough to know "someone", which was how I got the interview. Regardless, I fell in love with this job, completely oblivious to my fate. It sounds funny now that I read it... that I could care so deeply about a position I was in for only 4 short months but I saw the road ahead, what I thought was my road, and I did not want to turn back. So how did I end up here? Was it my fault? I don't know. Yes, I made mistakes but what person wouldn't? If I didn't make those mistakes would I still be there? I don't think so.
I'm numb. That is the BEST description of how I have been feeling for the past... month or so. And I say month because the first week it felt like a dream. I went to New York and it just felt like I was on vacation. Subconsciously, I thought that when I got back Monday morning, I'd be back at work. In reality, when I got back that weekend, it all hit. I was in some sort of a shock but I was determined. I made up my mind to start looking for jobs in Washington DC. I knew it would be hard trying to find work, I just didn't know how hard. I also didn't really think about all the important parts that made up a decision that big. But for a month straight, treating it like it was my full-time job, I searched and researched and applied and called. And finally got an interview. I had about a month between landing the interview and the actual date. My hopes were to schedule at least a few more interviews that week to avoid multiple trips and too much spending but it didn't work out that way. It was the only interview I had scheduled and, honestly, the only call back I had received. By the time it came around, I was more than discouraged. I thought the interview had gone well. I guess I was wrong. A few days ago, the rejection email was in my inbox.
Even though the job situation consumes my life, I have also been trying to lose weight. I have been trying to find encouragement anywhere I can. After watching The Biggest Loser tonight, it left me wondering if I'll ever reach my weight loss goals. It's a hard thing not to have someone around who shares the same goals. I'm not saying I don't have support, because I do! But it's hard to match lifestyles with a person who has a much different life than you. That's why shows like The Biggest Loser work so well obviously. I've read a ton of magazines, changed a lot of my eating habits, have been exercising so much more, and I haven't lost anything. Something needs to change.
My goal is to lose at least 30 lbs. That means if I start losing 5 lbs. per week I could be at my goal weight by May 2. Cut stress, cut calories, cut sugar, cut portions, cut excuses.
Welcome to my quarter-life crisis.
*http://www.ritholtz.com/blog/2009/03/unemployment-hits-25-year-high/
12.5 million people in the United States are unemployed. 4.4 million jobs have been lost since January 2008.*
I know I'm not alone. But losing my job affected me in a way that I never thought possible. I actually see the world differently now. I see my future differently which is where most of my issues come from.
After graduating at the end of 2007, I felt a lot of pressure to get into a career, most of that pressure being in my head, telling me that if I didn't land that job by the end of the summer I was a failure, that I would be that much further behind than everyone else, that I'm not good enough. So I was incredibly happy when I landed the job I did, now wondering if I was truly qualified for it or I had just been lucky enough to know "someone", which was how I got the interview. Regardless, I fell in love with this job, completely oblivious to my fate. It sounds funny now that I read it... that I could care so deeply about a position I was in for only 4 short months but I saw the road ahead, what I thought was my road, and I did not want to turn back. So how did I end up here? Was it my fault? I don't know. Yes, I made mistakes but what person wouldn't? If I didn't make those mistakes would I still be there? I don't think so.
I'm numb. That is the BEST description of how I have been feeling for the past... month or so. And I say month because the first week it felt like a dream. I went to New York and it just felt like I was on vacation. Subconsciously, I thought that when I got back Monday morning, I'd be back at work. In reality, when I got back that weekend, it all hit. I was in some sort of a shock but I was determined. I made up my mind to start looking for jobs in Washington DC. I knew it would be hard trying to find work, I just didn't know how hard. I also didn't really think about all the important parts that made up a decision that big. But for a month straight, treating it like it was my full-time job, I searched and researched and applied and called. And finally got an interview. I had about a month between landing the interview and the actual date. My hopes were to schedule at least a few more interviews that week to avoid multiple trips and too much spending but it didn't work out that way. It was the only interview I had scheduled and, honestly, the only call back I had received. By the time it came around, I was more than discouraged. I thought the interview had gone well. I guess I was wrong. A few days ago, the rejection email was in my inbox.
Even though the job situation consumes my life, I have also been trying to lose weight. I have been trying to find encouragement anywhere I can. After watching The Biggest Loser tonight, it left me wondering if I'll ever reach my weight loss goals. It's a hard thing not to have someone around who shares the same goals. I'm not saying I don't have support, because I do! But it's hard to match lifestyles with a person who has a much different life than you. That's why shows like The Biggest Loser work so well obviously. I've read a ton of magazines, changed a lot of my eating habits, have been exercising so much more, and I haven't lost anything. Something needs to change.
My goal is to lose at least 30 lbs. That means if I start losing 5 lbs. per week I could be at my goal weight by May 2. Cut stress, cut calories, cut sugar, cut portions, cut excuses.
Welcome to my quarter-life crisis.
*http://www.ritholtz.com/blog/2009/03/unemployment-hits-25-year-high/
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